I’ve seen a lot of people on here try to imply your Mike is an

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canada goose store It hard to say because different kids need canada goose outlet seattle different kinds of things. But, I know I appreciated the fact that my second foster parents never bad mouthed my mom. They also allowed me to leave on the Saturdays to visit my friends. They even invited my boyfriend over for dinner. canada goose store

canada goose coats They were encouraging of me getting my first job ever while I was there. They drove me to work and picked me up. They never complained about me being there. canada goose coats

canada goose black friday sale A big thing is that most foster parents canada goose shop uk don want teenagers. Neither goose outlet canada family I was with wanted any, they kind of got talked into it. My second home was supposed to be temporary, but they ended up telling me I could stay if I wanted to. They ended up taking more teenage girls after I was gone, too. So I guess taking me in gave them the courage to take on teenagers. I was a very polite and well behaved kid though, lol. canada goose black friday sale

Canada Goose online My first foster family gave me and my brother a huge list of chores to do every day. We got yelled at if it wasn done the way they wanted. My second family told me I was a child, not their slave, but I offered to help around the house anyway. Canada Goose online

The biggest thing is just to give canada goose outlet legit the kid time and acceptance. Don take it personal if the kid is sad or withdrawn. It extremely hard to be taken away from the life you know and go to a home of strangers, in a strange town, start a strange new school.

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Canada Goose Outlet Personally, I’m pretty convinced OP’s husband has adult ADHD. What she describes is pretty text book: Lack of motivation to do normal tasks unless it’s in a way he’s excited about, lack of follow through or finishing things he’s started, hyper focusing on certain things so much that he doesn’t see the big picture or consequences until it’s too late, being defensive instead of just doing things a normal way. OP also describes him in other replies as being very intelligent, creative, and a little immature, which are also super common with ADHD adults. Canada Goose Outlet

Source: I have ADHD and have been a «Mike» my whole life.

uk canada goose outlet I’ve learned to manage it way better over the past 5 years and shared that info with OP in a much longer reply on a different thread. uk canada goose outlet

canada goose clearance sale This is something that I really puzzle over! He definitely has had struggles at work and feels somewhat dissatisfied with canada goose outlet trillium parka black his position in the company after the time he put in there. (For the record I am perfectly satisfied with our station in life and his level of success, though I hate to see him frustrated about it.) He does describe having some really difficult people to work with and having some dumb company policies that legitimately sound hard to deal with. It is a major mystery in my life: Is he stubborn and inefficient at work, too? Or canada goose outlet factory does he disrespect me and also work at a tough company? It is just so hard to see clearly when you are inside it. canada goose clearance sale

buy canada goose jacket cheap Buttercup_Barantheon 10 points submitted 18 days ago buy canada goose jacket cheap

uk canada goose So. I used to be (and sometimes still am, but not as often) a Mike. Especially in my relationship with my ex husband. I’ve seen a lot of people on here try to imply your Mike is an idiot, but I know from personal experience that some of these things actually present in a sub set of people who in fact usually also have a higher than average level of intelligence. This, and a lot of what you’re describing about his personality, sounds pretty text book for adult ADHD. A special club of people who are very clever, but like to do things in their own unconventional ways that appeal to us in order to get motivated to do them. And people who love reading and research but only really about stuff they wanttt to read (Learning to sail! Growing a vegetable garden! Advanced photography! Modern architecture! European art history! Insert super random hobby/subject here!) and when we want to read it. Not so much with stuff we have to read (Tax documents. Technical material. INSTRUCTIONS.) when we HAVE to do it, which is before starting a project. We don’t want to read now we want to start! Because we are excited about it right now and our brain is telling us we need to capitalize on that energy, even if this need is subconscious. We also often fall victim to that energy running out, and lots canada goose parka outlet uk of projects remain «pretty much done» for days, weeks months. Because if all of that weren’t annoying enough already, we see it as 85% finished while other people (understandably) just care that it’s Not Finished. uk canada goose

canada goose coats on sale Inevitably, our way of doing canada goose outlet in usa things is not always or even often efficient, and sometimes it’s down right disruptive or destructive. Making the people in our life understandably frustrated or pissed off, and wondering why we can’t just canada goose outlet 2015 DO IT THE NORMAL WAY. For what it’s worth, we spend a lot of time wondering the same thing canada goose outlet nyc and feeling really down or frustrated with ourselves when this happens too. But it’s a hard wiring in our brain we don’t understand which can then make us feel defensive. Which then just exacerbates the problem because we’re essentially now doubling down on justifying our stupid process that didn’t work. Any of this sound familiar? canada goose coats on sale

canadian goose jacket Basically, I think some of this stems from us being precocious kids and this means a lot of stuff just worked out for us the way we wanted to do it, starting in early childhood. And canada goose outlet orlando a lot of times we actually find a better or more efficient (or at least enjoyable for us) ways of doing things, or were in the very least praised for our ability to see outside the box or come up with creative solutions on our own. It’s fun for us and a very valuable talent. But it’s a talent best put to use in certain times and definitely not others. The canada goose parka uk problem is that once you enter into the modern canada goose outlet online world of Adulting there’s a lot less opportunities to think this way because projects and action items have a lot less wiggle room to make mistakes, time to tinker, or resources to feck it up and get to start over. canadian goose jacket

cheap Canada Goose So alas, we must adapt. This is much harder for us than others. And also leads to a lot of people with ADHD to be a little stalled in certain steps of the growing up process. Maybe a lot of the common sense things you accepted at 22 we finally accept at 32. For me, it finally happened canada goose outlet sale when I was so exhausted from causing myself and my partner headaches and heartache from screwing things up that I just sorta started doing things the normal way. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. The scale had finally tipped to where not upsetting people or causing stress for myself far outweighed the importance of doing it «my way». cheap Canada Goose

cheap canada goose uk Another thing that’s hard to admit is that I could be a really big brat to my partner sometimes before I figured that out. Like you, he adored the other parts of my personality that came along with this quark, but this part of it became increasingly frustrating for him and led to resentment. I, in turn, had my own resentment that was some parts feeling as though «who I am» was being rejected or judged, and some parts were me just projecting a resentment I really held towards myself for not being able to «just be normal». For what it’s worth, these things followed me to work, too. I was always very liked, and always seen as very valuable and did great at work. I was praised often for my canada goose outlet winnipeg address ability to take on many roles, solve unsolvable problems, and discover opportunities no one else saw. For this reason I got a lot of monetary rewards and was one of the highest paid people at my firm. I also had a tendency to be defensive, insist on doing things my way that sometimes even towed the line to insubordination, and deadlines were always impending doom I screeched under at the very last minute. For this reason I was probably passed over a few for Managment and responsibility type promotions, which really stung and confused me. cheap canada goose uk

canada goose clearance I know this is very long already, canada goose outlet store uk and could be way off base. But with your background have you ever considered that Mike might have ADHD? He sounds a lot like me, to canada goose outlet black friday sale be honest. Regardless of whether or not that is the reason, it seems we have a lot in common so here is my advice: Consider that he may be wired to derive motivation to do certain tasks from a part of his brain that also gets stimulated and enjoys solving problems. So he’s not just being a jerk canada goose outlet website legit who needs to do things his way, but instead a person who lacks motivation and creates it on his own by stimulating the problem solving part of his brain. Since this way of doing things unfortunately isn’t fit for a large percentage of real world tasks, he has to come to terms with the fact that he has to learn to power through and do things when he isn’t motivated, or find different motivation. For most of us, that motivation finally comes from us experiencing the crappy outcome enough that we are motivated to not feck it up and start doing things the proper way. Here’s where things get emotionally complicated and how you can maybe help: A lot of times we feel that when our ideas are rejected, WE are being rejected. Or that our different brains are being judged. This is almost never the case. But it’s hard to explain. It’s a little more extreme, but maybe a good analogy would be like being someone with Tourette’s and the people you love or work with getting really annoyed with you for yelling profanities. The truth is, it’s gotta be understandably really annoying for anyone to have to cope with someone else’s lack of impulse control that then fecks up their day or life. But just like someone with Tourette’s being made to feel bad about something they already wish they didn’t do and don’t understand why we can’t just stop and feels helplessly outside of our control. it hurts our feelings. And, as I’m sure you’re well aware, when people have hurt feelings they don’t always present in obvious ways, but can look more like defensiveness, stubbornness, selfishness, spite, or resentment. canada goose clearance

canada goose uk outlet So my advice is to approach these situations in a way that lets canada goose outlet belgium him know that you aren’t rejecting him by rejecting his way of doing things. Making sure he feels appreciated for the cool way he does things when it’s appropriate to do them that way. And while this one will be hard I really recommend that canada goose outlet uk you don’t bail him out, help him, or let him off the hook when things go south at his hands and thus let him really experience the consequences. This is what will eventually help him discover that new motivation that can override the impulse to «do it his way» and instead want to «do it right». canada goose uk outlet

Canada Goose Jackets And my final bit of advice is to seriously consider convincing him to test for ADHD. He might be really adverse to it at first, but for most adults who are dx’ed it’s like a massive weight lifted off their shoulders, a huge emotional burden released, and a major question of «why am I like this» answered that many people canada goose premium outlet have been asking their entire Canada Goose Outlet lives. Not to mention the massive quality of life and mood improvements that can be accomplished with the right medications for those who choose to go that route. Even without medications there are lots of methods and information that is really helpful and fascinating to understand how our brains work differently and then help us trick them into doing things in more conventional ways. Additionally, with adult ADHD, the hyperactivity part rarely manifests as actual physical hyperactivity (like the 3rd grader who can’t sit still) but instead happens internally. Overthinking, anxiety, and OCD are pretty common to at least some degree due to hyperactivity in our brain and poor impulse control to keep ourselves from indulging it. So again an ADHD diagnoses can be a canada goose outlet toronto address huge help in understanding and then https://www.canadagoosejackets7v.com learning reduce many of these tendencies as well. Canada Goose Jackets

canada goose uk shop If you think he’ll be resistant to an ADHD test and see it as a weakness, provide him with information that focuses on the high intelligence associations with ADHD and how it’s just a matter or understanding the difference. And even if he doesn’t turn out to be in the ADHD club, it sounds like he has a lot of similarities and so I stick by my advice in here. canada goose uk shop

Canada Goose Online You sound like a great partner. And contrary to what a lot of people are saying in here I believe that he probably is too in tons of ways that you love and value. Also I want you to know that he doesn’t want to disappoint or upset you and this habit of his isn’t a reflection of him not caring about or dismissing your feelings. It’s just a teaching a fish to fly/bird to swim/hard wiring issue. We hate disappointing the people we love so very much, and it’s a sore subject for all of us «Mikes» out here. Canada Goose Online

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HurtingButOkay 14 points submitted 2 months ago

Canada Goose Coats On Sale Unintentionally creating the cycle is normal, in the beginning. They confused. They miss you but they know they should move on. What do you do in this situation? Maybe they want to wait and see what happens, see if they can get that spark back. That normal. Canada Goose Coats On Sale

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canada goose factory sale I get sad to come on here and see people throwing their worth down the drain for ONE PERSON so I really try to post things that get people moving along and realize that ITS NOT THEM canada goose factory sale.

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